VNN — "News" sources have been accused of having schizophrenia after years of using the word "we" in their articles. For years, sites like CNN have talked in the plural, referring to "we" in their stories. Primarily, the mentioned stories focus on advertising. For example, CNN claims that multiple people tested computer gadgets and came to a consensus on which ones are the best. Despite CNN's confident tone, it is not clear who "we" is, exactly. How, one may ask, can multiple people test products and come to the same conclusion? We at VNN are investigating the possibility that sites like CNN may be intentionally fooling readers by adding credence to their reviews. Surely, if more than one person thinks the same bidet or tablet is the best, then it must be - right? Some of us think that CNN is referring to "we" as if CNN is a collective entity of multiple individuals. However, as a corporation, sites like CNN.com are not mulitple people. Indeed, they are a single person that can vote per the Citizens United ruling. When asked for comment, CNN said that they were busy, but that someone at the network will eventually get back to us. Apparently, everyone is busy testing products. The identity of "we" at CNN cannot be confirmed Courtesy of CNN A Galactic Problem Shockingly, sites like Reddit, Patriots.win, and other forums have never called sites like CNN out for talking in the plural form, acting as if the problem doesn't even exist. "The problem doesn't exist," interneters would probably say when asked about this problem. One fan of mainstream media would likely suggest that VNN is overthinking this and should get a life. "You guys should really get a life. Who cares if sites like CNN are talking in the plural when it's really just one person, if any person at all? Hell, if it's AI, it doesn't even matter. The point is that nobody is buying a bidet or laptop because CNN spent months testing them." Multiple sources have confirmed that nobody really cares if sites like CNN have little respect for their customers. In a statement to VNN, CNN should say, "look, we are not one person. It doesn't matter if CNN is a considered a US citizen per Citizens United. We are multiple people, and we are currently sitting on bidets trying to figure out which one is the best." Historical data shows that "we" is best used when multiple people are speaking. However, there is no evidence that more than one person is involved in writing these advertisements. It is also not clear if CNN cares about the welfare of its readers. "Surely," opined one of VNN's people, "if CNN says 'we', it's probably just one person or AI trying to trick you. They're liars, and they'll bask in Heaven someday." Until they're dead, multiple CNN writers will sit in front of a computer and agree that "we" is the appropriate way to talk. If the singular were used, then "I tested bidets" would sound weird. "We" sounds more sensible and sells more products. "We" is a useful advertising trick Many Americans have no idea that sites like CNN are created purely for making money. "Imagine thinking that CNN's job is to provide news to educated citizens. Why would they want smart readers? If their readers were smart, nobody would click the advertising links." Without detailed data on who exactly is clicking on these misleading, manipulative ads, VNN cannot verify who is clicking and who is reading. The plural form is an effective way to manipulate people into thinking product ratings have merit Courtesy of multiple CNN writers If CNN were sincere, they would remove all of their ads. They're already trying to get readers to subscribe and pay for articles, so why have advertising that installs malware and trackers onto readers' phones and computers? Here at VNN, we only have one writer: Bill Peener. Sometimes he changes his name and pretends to be other people, but it's always the same person because we care about you. Really. Trust us. We are more than one person. Promise. Of course, it may all be true. Perhaps multiple people at CNN really are testing all of the same bidets and coming to the same conclusions. However, one question arises: how often do these product testers disagree and argue about which bidet cleans their ass best? Correction: an additional address of Mr. Musk's was original posted in article and has been removed.