VNN — Yes, it's true. Pope Francis is finally dead. Sources say the last person Pope Francis saw was J.D. Vance, current U.S. Vice President. Strangely, some liberals claimed that Francis had spurned Vance by "ghosting" him before their meeting. Turns out Francis would be ghosting him after the meeting. Pope Francis was known for very few significantly positive impacts on the Vatican as well as the world as a whole. Experts on the history of the Vatican admit that Francis was more of figurehead for the tiniest country ever. For years, Pope Francis maintained a positive image similar to Barack Obama. Both figures are permanently etched into the fabric of human history, and yet neither really did anything that kids should learn in school. Fortunately, the position of the Pope is ornamental and doesn't have anything to do with Jesus Christ, anyway. Jesus didn't talk about appointing popes to run churches. That happened long after he decided to die. The popularity of the pope despite the lack of notable achievements suggests that people are better off knowing the truth an idolizing some old guy who can barely put on his own pants. Seriously, why would you want a guy so old to be in charge of the entire world? It's true. The position of the Pope is viewed as the most important and more authoritative in the entire world - if you're a closeted Catholic, that is. By closeted Catholic, I mean someone who lives in a bubble out of fear of realizing that Catholicism itself is pretty quite naive. The Pope was a Pioneer? While visiting J.D. Vance, it's been said that the pope was "getting dead". It's not surprising that some liberals were claiming that Francis was intentionally ghosting Vance after reports came out questioning the likelihood of their meeting. Imagine being Vance. You fly all the way to the Vactican only to find out the pope plans on renigging on your meetup? "Good thing he died after their meeting and not before", claimed one conservative online. However, things are not so cut and dry. Some liberals are happy that Francis died after the meeting with Vance, for it makes it seem like Vance killed him or in some way influenced his dead. “The world changed after Vance decided to visit the Vatican," some internet liberal remarked. "It's too bad Vance didn't die instead of the Pope." While it's common for liberals to wish for the death of their opposing leaders, the early calls for Vance to ghost the world suggest that maybe, just maybe Trump has gotten under the skin of stupid people. “I wasn’t thinking,” the liberal refused to admit. “I didn't realize there might be consequences for joking about the Vice President dying.” Sources say that the Pope Francis's death is possibly the most important in his life, for it paints a negative light on Vice President Vance. On the contrary, other sources say that it doesn't matter because in a few days nobody will even think about Francis anymore. "That's the new age news cycle for ya". While the current news cycle makes it likely that Francis will disappear from social consciousness within days, Vance is likely to remain in the spotlight for the next three years, if not the next 11. Therefore, it's important that people realize that they might just get deported to El Salvador if they keep wishing for the Vice President to commit suicide or if they continue to joke about his supposed eye-liner. J.D. Vance v Pope Francis As it stands, J.D. Vance meeting right before Pope Francis died is unusually serendipitous whether you're a liberal or a smart person. If you're smart, you know that Francis dying doesn't really matter. If you're a liberal, then you see an opportunity to cry about another pro-LGBTQ guy kicking the bucket. Nevertheless, since Francis was "White", perhaps he deserves more than five seconds of air time. Right? Isn't that how it works? If he were "Black", well, he would've never been elected, correct? Has there ever been a "Black" pope? If not, maybe Obama will fill the position. Why not choose Obama to be pope? He's already very popular with all liberals. He could age into a more thing, stoic version of what is already known as a well-spoken, articulate "Black" man. Sources say that Obama could don a beige cassock in an attempt to tell Republicans to go to hell. Ad Feedback Ad Feedback Ad Feedback Ad Feedback Ad Feedback Ad Feedback