VNN — A day after Ozzy Osbourne, the legendary rockstar, passed away, Hulk Hogan, known by many as a legendary wrestler, has also passed away, igniting celebrations around the world. Comments across social media Thursday morning reflect a gleeful tone from numerous individuals who recounted the fact that Hulk Hogan was a "total waste of oxygen." Two people interviewed by VNN agreed, saying, "Hulk Hogan was not only a total piece of shit, but I'm glad he's dead because honestly he should have never been born. If you disagree, you too should have never been born. Ozzy was a way better guy than Hogan, so you really should just kill yourself right now if you think Hogan deserves anyone's respect. May Ozzy rest in Heaven and Hogan rot in Hell." A similar sentiment was shared across the internet, with people mocking Mr. Hogan's passing. According to critics, The Hulkster was a racist because he used the word "nigger" in various contexts and because he campaigned with Donald Trump. Indeed, the Association of Correct Behavior agrees that Mr. Hulk Hogan was a racist and should have never been born. "He should've never been born," CEO of the ACB Todd Harsh admitted to VNN. "Look, I may be a successful comedian and a CEO of the first morality company ever, but that doesn't mean I'm not God, either. The fact is, I am God; and therefore I have the ability to judge one's behavior fully and wholy. Mr. Hogan said the word 'nigger' on multiple occasions, so that right there is proof that his mother should be exhumed and charged with not having an abortion." Calls for Mr. Hogan's mother's incarceration have been growing, with some people saying she should be put in a maximum prison for the rest of eternity. "Hulk's mom is already dead; but that doesn't mean we can't spend some tax dollars on imprisoning her body." VNN has reached out to several prisons to find out if they think hosting a dead person's body makes any sense, but nobody agreed. In confidence, a guard at a local prison shared the following truth with VNN: "Fact is, there is no way the courts will entertain exhuming a body for the purpose of charging the corpse with failing to choose abortion 71 years ago. The motion would be dead on arrival. Why? Simple. Prisoners don't like having sex with dead bodies." Indeed, numerous studies have been done showing that prisoners prefer having sex with breathers. "I only bang breathers," one prisoner at the local prison said. "Those dead people are boring because they just lay there, and their holes are limp. There's no grip." Unreasonable Morality Calls for Hulk Hogan's mother's capital punishment have been heard, with some internetters suggesting that Hogan's mother should not spend the rest of her death in prison but instead should receive capital punishment. One internetter put it like this: "Look, I hate racists so much that I'd rather spend my life trying to punish their mothers than enjoying my limited time on Earth." "Hulk Hogan supported Trump last year," another internetter stated. "Therefore, I hope he doesn't rest in peace. I hate him so much for being a terrible person. Ozzy Osbourne deserved a longer mourning period. Now, Hulk's smashed that." In celebrating Mr. Hogan's passing, internetters mourn Mr. Osbourne's death, creating a morality conflict. Franch Bunp, a professor at an important university, framed the situation like this: "Internetters have revealed their true colors. They're pro animal abuse and wife abuse. They've decided that it's OK that Ozzy Osbourne killed 17 cats one night; was arrested for threatening to kill his wife; and also cheated on his wife numerous times. This behavior is totally forgivable, whereas Hogan's use of the N-word and his support of a political candidate render him abortion-worthy." Bill Peener, the guy writing this story, has worked for years as an internetter, exposing himself to these sorts of moral conflicts. In a statement to VNN, Mr. Peener had the following to say: "Isn't it funny how these idiots hate Hogan but they love Ozzy? Which is better? Killing animals and hurting your wife or saying a word and supporting the current president?" Some internetters who have yet to be interviewed would probably admit to a conflation of morality. Some might even say that what Ozzy did was worse than Mr. Hogan, considering Ozzy actually killed animals. However, the majority of the internet has confirmed that Hogan's actions are worse because he's connected to Trump. "It's because of Trump," ChatGPT told VNN. "If you're caught supporting President Trump in any way, you are not only deemed a waste of oxygen, but your mother will be charged in the court of public opinion with failing to abort cancer." Several internetters echo similar sentiments, claiming that Mr. Hogan was actually literal cancer and that his mom committed crimes against humanity for not aborting him when she had the chance. "What an absolute piece of scum," some dude living in his mom's basement said on Reddit. "Can you imagine choosing to not abort one of the worst human beings of all time? I hate Hulk Hogan's mom more than Trump right now." The Hulkster v the Prince of Darkness The moral contrast between Mr. Hogan and Mr. Osbourne is stark. Had the latter supported the current president, he surely would have been pressured into suicide a long time ago. However, as a smart musician, Mr. Osbourne was wise to pander to the masses, resulting in one of the greatest posthumous commemorations in modern history. It's even been said that Hogan's body might be used to help build the Mr. Osbourne's casket. Via mostly anonymous sourcing, VNN has confirmed that Mr. Osbourne's casket will, in part, be crafted out of Mr. Hogan's bones. "Hogan's body is useless and will not receive a proper burial. Why would you want to have a funeral for literal cancer? That's stupid." Multiple studies have concluded that it makes zero sense to bury cancer. In one longitudinal study out of the UK, researchers found that when cancer is placed in a casket and buried 6 feet below the ground, it's really just a waste of space. "Cancer dies when the host dies," a researcher told VNN. "This whole thing about Hogan being actual cancer is strange because he was a human and did not have cancer. So, to choose to not bury him and instead use his bones to help bury a guy who murdered animals and abused his wife is, well, fucking retarded." In a phone call with a lawyer, VNN discovered that it could be criminal to use the words "fucking" and "retarded". "Look, if you want to be taken seriously after your death, don't give people reasons to think you're literal cancer. Step 1: stop using words like 'retard'; step 2: stop voting for Donald Trump; and step 3: try to be a good person, God damnit. Is it really that hard to not support rapists? Is it really that hard to not say the N-word? I mean, Jesus Christ, you're walking a thin line using words like 'retard'; you're better off killing a cat." VNN has confirmed that murdering cats is acceptable behavior when compared to saying the R & N words. However, if you support Donald Trump, it doesn't matter what words you use. It doesn't matter if you're a volunteer; if you donate to charities; if you protest in the streets; no, it doesn't matter if you're a saint who feeds millions and has never done anything else wrong. Supporting Trump is a cardinal sin and warrants immediate deportation from life. "There's no other conclusion," one future reader of this article will probably say. "Seems reasonable to me. If you voted for Trump, you're beyond evil and should never have been born; and your mom should be charged with birthing a monster. May Hulk Hogan lose every wrestling match against Satan. Viva Ozzy the animal & wife abuser!" VNN's Heaven correspondent, Jerryl, has told VNN that Ozzy is currently in Heaven enjoying the grand old pasttime of biting the heads off of animals. "Bats, cats, and rats - they're Ozzy's favorite; and when his wife dies, he'll enjoy the blessed gift of threatening to kill her for eternity." "Mr. Hogan is in Hell," Jerryl also confirmed. He's currently preparing for his first match against Satan, and he has been told that for the first time in history, he is not the heel. "Satan is the heel in every match - and he always wins. As a result of saying the N word and for supporting Trump, Mr. Hogan will suffer defeat for the rest of eternity." In addition, Jerryl asked Jesus for his opinion on Ozzy & Hogan. "Honestly, I don't really care. Yeah, it's stupid how humans judge people based on subjective morality, but so did I. In fact, you might say I'm the biggest culprit of all time. The funniest part is that I died for everyone's sins; and yet people still think Hogan is evil. It's just plain dumb. Humans are really, really, stupid." Note: The third guy in this article's photo doesn't matter.