VNN — The New York Times, known for decades as having an effect on man, violated journalism ethics last week when it published the home address of Elon Musk. "In a shocking development, the New York Times violated the privacy of the government's #2 hated man," a New York Giant fan said in response to the shocking, unethical attempt to destroy Elon Musk. The 43 year-old Giant fan lamented that nothing is private anymore, especially when, in his words, "The New York Times keeps affecting men like me. How are we supposed to live our lives in times like these?" Despite the New York Times having removed the address from its published articles, VNN was able to retrieve the address from the internet archives. Indeed, one of "President" Musk's addresses was published: 101 Moon Road, Moon 69000. In retaliation, Elon Musk promised on his social media platform X that he will make several memes that articulate precisely why the NY Times is both "pure evil" and "a very negative effect on man." Authorities have indicated that they have no intention of sanctioning the Times for their "mistake", primarily because the authorities, in the voice of Alex Jones, "don't care" and are "in on it". "I asked myself, ‘If I were Trump's right-hand man, and my address was posted online, what would I do'?" Mr. Jones probably said. "I think I'd grab one of my proton weapons and raise Hell; or maybe I'd send the journalist who posted my address in a space ship to the moon where he can be my butler... FOR LIFE." Elon Musk's home can be seen in the above photo. Courtesy of NASAs A Galactic Problem Other countries have chimed in, with several saying they can't believe Musk would choose 69000 as the zip code for the moon. "He not Zen," one of the Chinese samurai / Buddha looking leaders said. "Tariff the moon!" Another country applauded the New York Times, calling for Elon's house to be blown to "smithereens". Of course, the FBI acknowledged that threats made against property on the moon are outside of their jurisdiction. “The world is the world; and the moon is the moon. If someone nukes Elon's house or flies up there and commits a burglary, well, at least they didn't try arson because I don't think the moon's atmosphere allows for that.” Elon's moon home supposedly has zero known details outside of the fact that its address was published by one of the CIA's primary vehicles for delivering bullshit to the American population. “I wasn’t thinking,” one online commenter said. “I laughed and said I hope a SWAT team shows up at Elon's door and shoots him." I didn't know a SWAT team would show up at [i]my[/i] door just for saying that on a stupid website. The New York Times has vowed to never publish unethical content again, but few journalism school graduates trust them nor even care. "I don't care," one recent journalism school graduate said. "I mean, that's all I have to say about it. I just don't care." Whether Elon will change his address or relocate to a different region, one thing is certain: Musk has been living on the moon while we're all just screwing ourselves on Earth. Perhaps his DOGE efforts have more to do with bolstering SpaceX funding so that he can more easily visit his family. The moon is not a planet Many Americans sit in traffic every day just waiting to get home to their families. Data across time has shown that gridlock, rush hour, and road rage contribute to a problem that doesn't come close to rivaling the headache one gets from traveling to and from the Moon. "Imagine needing four days to get home, then four days just to go back to work; all while you're dodging space debris and making sure you properly land. Let's face it: Earth-Moon travel is a real bitch." While the above quote does not have an attribution, VNN will continue to do the most ethical job of any news outlet; and if President Trump wants to deport us for reporting the truth, VNN will be the first corporation sent to El Salvador. Better build a bigger cell. Or, maybe he'll send us to the moon. It is not clear if this is a photo of Elon Musk Courtesy of NASA Donald Trump has likely addressed the matter of Elon's address, stating that he thinks addresses are better when they are spoken in a speech, like the Gettysburg Address, instead of spoken in a for-profit, "fake news" article. The New York Times has yet to comment on Trump's likely comments, but it can be surmised that they are happy he and his henchmen will have been in the news for at least 12 years straight. “The word 'Trump' is pretty much always the first word you see on any major news site; and it's going to be that way for many, many more news cycles to come,” a New York Times staffer would say if they were being parodied on SNL or The Onion. Correction: an additional address of Mr. Musk's was original posted in article and has been removed.